Thursday, October 02, 2008


On my way home from work tonight I noticed an unexpected thing. In the middle of the packed train, I found myself admiring how pretty the lights on the buildings passed looked as they hit the surface of the river as the train passed.

This is unexpected because for most of the last four years I have been in hellish jobs, and my evening train rides home were most often spent trying to calm myself down from the stress and frustration of my day and push all those work-related thoughts out of my head so my evening could be as relaxing as possible. I almost never succeeded.

My current job is certainly not perfect, and there are some things about it that are highly stressful and frustrating. But for some reason I feel like I have more capacity to enjoy things now than I have had in a long time. Maybe it's not just the job...maybe it's just that the stars are aligned right...maybe it's just that I've gotten older and learned how to deal better. But despite all the work-related stress of my new job and all of the non-work-related stressful events that have happened over the last year and are still not over, I finally am able to stop and smell the flowers. It's as if my mind has room to breathe. I just have to learn to maintain this through whatever other stress that comes my way. I still have a lot of flowers to smell.


Gina said...

Good morning, that is so true, you have had a hard 4 years. Given the jobs you've had before and stress you've gotten from them. It's no wonder, it's been hard to stop and smell the flowers under that much stress before now, so I understand that...totally. And I am glad you got a chance to enjoy it the day you wrote this. You deserve it. You really really do. : ) Have a good weekend over there. : )

deenster said...

Thanks, Gina! :-) I am trying to enjoy every day no matter how crappy work may get or how stressful things are. I think sometimes I am too serious in that way...I need to take myself less seriously and just go with the flow! Easier said than done - ha ha ha.

Gina said...

I am too serious in that way too. I should take my own self less seriously as well. I can be quite critical and hard on my own self. Not on others, just myself.

Didn't someone once say, we are our own worst critics? Gosh I know I am of me. Ha ha ha. : )

Have a good weekend over there and gosh I am so happy it's the weekend... I don't know what to do with myself, ha ha ha.

Gina said... when something bad happens, I will replay it in my mind about 100 times. Ha ha ha. And think about it. When I should just say....ahhh to heck with it. : ) Like you said though....easier said then done. I get that. Totally. : ) Anyway have a good weekend.

deenster said...

Hi Gina! I am the exact same way! When something bad happens it sticks in my head and I can't get it out of my mind for a while...and I think of a million and one things I should have said and done, but then of course it is already too late! Sometimes I get way too stressed out about things that have already passed...I need to get better about that. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with it, though. :-) Hope you had a great weekend!

template by